euphemisms a comment swap

I have a little muscle problem. It sometimes causes my legs to drop me, my hands to suddenly quit working while I'm writing or carrying things. Doc is looking into the causes.

I like.to call it sudden complete relaxations!

I seem to have this thing where I can be walking and just trip over nothing. I haven't completely fallen over yet. Thank god. But man does it give me a scare.

I call these things that I am tripping over "ghost holes" and its gotten to where every time it happens a yell out "Ghost Hole!"and everyone knows what I'm talking about.

user6181: omg...I tripped over a ghost hole this morning!

You know when you are going #2, the poop hits the water and the water splashes at you? Especially distressing in public toilets? Icky! Let's call that Surprise Splash Event or SSE for short!

PSA: you can minimize SSE by placing some paper in the toilet before going. It also minimizes SNE or Surprise Noise Event.

By the way, I'm blaming this sickness on my 50th birthday...I'm looking for my reading glasses, going crazy....looking for my house keys, also going crazy....I have been experiencing this "crazy moments" as of lately. I have been diagnosed (by my favorite nurse, my daughter) with OTSM: "Old Timers Senior Moments" ....welcome to my world!

Lol these are great! We don't have a name for it, but when I forget words and my brain just puts in a wrong word so it doesn't have to do the work of finding the right word, we grade the outcome.

A is close, very close, but not quite it. Like calling a kid by his brother's name.

C we figured out what you mean, but... only from context clues lol

F we have no idea what word you meant

Purple there is no grade low enough for that word in that sentence

My favorite this week was when I was supposed to walk the dog. "I can't take elephant out yet. I'm trying to finish this swap."

Lol I got a purple for that one, but I argued it to a B because 1. There's nothing else I take out so context clues would lead you to it and 2 both our dog joker and an elephant are both animals, so it was kind of close, right?