Mad Lib - Letter From A Swap Flaker

Use this Mad Lib generator (http://www.wordlibs.com/mad-libs/humor/letter-from-a-swap-flaker ) to create a "Letter From A Swap Flaker" for your partner. :)

Fill in all the blanks. If you don't know the parts of speech, look them up. Be creative in your word choices!
Copy your final Mad Lib and send it to your partner via Swap-Bot's PM (private message) system.

I won't put any restrictions on language, but check your partner's profile to make sure they're not offended by R-rated speech.

Newbies welcome. I reserve the right to ban anyone based on my own judgment, but this is such an easy swap I expect that everyone will follow through.

Send on time.
Rate promptly and accurately.
Communicate if there are any problems.